Feel free to copy and paste this in your email to some of your
friends.
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.
2. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
harmony.
3. The United States should get out of the United Nations; our
highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
Iraq.
4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,
but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.
5. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
Clinton.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have
sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
allies ("that's old Europe") then expect their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science,
but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense. A President lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
but George Bush's driving record is none of our business, nor are
Dick Cheney's task force discussions with energy industry our business
either.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless
you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need
our prayers for your recovery.
15. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
but what George Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10
other people, we're likely to be stuck with Bush for four more years.
Friends don't let friends vote Republican